So, I’ve come to a realisation recently, that the reason that this blog is neglected, underseasoned and generally a bit meh, is that it is deeply inauthentic for me to be focusing on their latest fashion escapades, like some brilliant and wonderful bloggers I follow do (shout out to my favourite Australian blogs in this area: Blonde Ink, Wait Until The Sunset and Frocks and Frou Frou).
When I started this blog last year, I was in rut, and it sounded cool to talk about the intersection of fashion and feminism. I wanted to have gorgeous just posed but not quite posed pictures of fabulous outfits accompanied by witty banter about life, accompanied by incisive commentary on feminism.
Truth be told, I hate having my picture taken if its posed. I love to be in pictures that are within the thick of life’s action, among my friends and family, doing things outside in the world. I’m photogenic, but not in photos that are meant to be about the clothes, so I ended up feeling the very opposite of body positive. No longer did I see the fun and engaging part of myself, I self-criticised every portion of how my body and face looked in a shot, that simply did not capture my essence. The clothes I wore, no longer looked like an expression of myself in these pictures, all I could see were the flaws, the wrinkles, the pilling and the age.
Furthermore, I simply didn’t make photographs a priority. It has been a busy year (when is life not busy for everyone) and I simply forgot in the midst of packing for this, studying for that, thinking about some project or running out the door to get the express bus to work. I could probably work on getting that just right measure of posed but casual look I would love, but it wasn’t a priority for me, and I think that’s going to just have to be ok.
Beyond this, I’ve gone through a change in aesthetic and lifestyle this year. After collapsing with exhaustion prior to our trip to Africa, I realised that some things had to give. A process that begun with a move last year, I had been slowly decluttering my environment, but it had become important to both declutter my energies and to reduce my environmental impact. This realisation meant that only aspirational rather than actual me was going to put in the time, money and resources (space, environmentally, brain wattage) to be able to offer beautifully put together outfits that changed with the seasons, styles etc. My wardrobe, while extensive, I decided wasn’t going to grow further. I wanted to shift gears to wearing things out, to reducing my wardrobe size over time. This seemed inconsistent with the blogs I loved, that would often have something new and adorable to show off, rather than the same old ratty pleated skirt again.
So, what now? What comes out of this revelation? I know that clothes are a big part of my self-identity, so I’ll continue to weave that into my posts, but its unlikely to feel like a fashion blog. My knowledge and experience of feminism has grown within the last twelve months, and I really want to offer those perspectives more regularly. I think that greater diversity in the career and financial advice we receive is needed. My experiences of travel are probably something I could offer more perspectives on. I also want to explore the body positive movement, which I’ve observed but not yet really engaged at an analytical level. Thinking about reducing my impact on the environment, whilst stretching myself (and maybe others) to make an impact for the better in the world is where I’m at.